Before having children, we always have this thing in our heads that we will end up being the best mother because…well we think we know….
“Being a parent makes you feel like a blanket that’s always too small. No matter how hard you try to cover everyone, there’s always someone who’s freezing” (taken from Beartown by Fredrik Backman). Now almost 5 years later, I resonate with this quote and laugh at how I assumed being a mother was going to be…
My Motherhood Journey
Motherhood (for me) started in February 2013 when I found out I was first pregnant. It was completely unexpected, my husband and I were in New York, doing one of our first few Singles Events we hosted. We had just come back from visiting my family in Dubai and we had no plans to have a baby. In fact, we had intended on going to Hajj (Muslim Holy Pilgrimage). But God had other plans for us.
Of course, this was a huge shock and although I was excited, I had no idea what I was in for. Motherhood is so exciting to plan for but it’s like a ride that you get on and you have NO CLUE what you are going to experience. I had a very healthy pregnancy but ended up with a very traumatic birth (read my birth stories here) and only now (4 and half years later), did I realize that I have some Postpartum Stress & Anxiety that I never addressed.
Through my journey, I just accepted whatever was thrown at me assuming that’s what motherhood was about. You lose sleep, you sacrifice, you give you give you give, you cry and you just have to do. I loved my baby, but his crying gave me anxiety. He had bad colic for the first few months. To me, his crying was a reflection of me not being a good mother. I now realize that it’s completely untrue. His crying was a reflection of his situation at that moment. His colic, his bad tummy, his hunger, his tiredness, etc. I did my best as a mother. I still always do….So why is it so hard to accept that we are in fact “Being the Best Mother”…
I have 3 little children today, they are 4 yrs, 2 yrs and 7 months. And to be brutally honest it’s been a rollercoaster. I love my children to bits, I would do anything for them, but I can’t say that it’s been easy. I have a lot of days where lose my temper, I have mommy meltdowns and cry more than I would like, and feel like I want to just run away. But then those moments turn around super quick and we’ll be talking, laughing or playing and I take them to their favorite park.
I am still adapting because motherhood is ever evolving and ever-changing. There’s a new phase every week, a new development and with that comes growth. Not only are our children growing, but we are growing as parents. And I truly believe this is my biggest test. In the Quran, Allah says “And know that your possessions and your children are but a trial and that surely, with Allah is a mighty reward” [al-Anfaal 8:28 – interpretation of the meaning]. So with hardship comes ease and with the struggles of parenting,
Things to Remember As a Mother Through the Struggles
- So despite all of the struggles, I want to tell you that you are an amazing mama,
- Whether you are pregnant with your first, or you have 1/2/3 or more kids, you are still amazing.
- You are doing something so beautiful, from sacrificing your body and growing this being inside you and nurturing it, to going through the pain of labor and birth to bring them out into this world.
- You struggle with sleep, backpain, nausea, and a bunch of other things during pregnancy as your baby grows and you get ready to bring baby into the word.
- You selflessly stay up at night despite all the pain you are in postpartum to feed your baby.
- You are constantly thinking about your kids and how you can make their world a better place.
- You CAN do whatever you can to make sure they are happy, and you constantly put everyone before yourself.
This is why Islam has raised the status of women so high that Heaven lives beneath her feet.
Just always remember you are not alone. What you feel today, hundreds or even thousands of other moms are feeling too! It’s amazing how when you open up to a bunch of moms about something, they will say omg I just went through that too!”. There’s this weird comfort in knowing you are not alone.
So mama’s No matter how difficult it may be, we have to remind ourselves (myself first) not to focus on what we gave up to have these children, but rather what we are gaining from it. This is something I struggle with on a daily basis because I am constantly giving up 5-10 things a day to do something for my children or my home. And boy is that hard. Motherhood teaches us so much, especially about ourselves. I never knew I could have so much anxiety, until I had children. I never knew I could love someone so much and be frustrated with them at the same time until I had children. I never imagined living on no sleep and still getting up at 7 am to be selfless. But when you think about it, they are the reason we wake up
Motherhood teaches us so much, especially about ourselves. I never knew I could have so much anxiety until I had children. I never knew I could love someone so much and be frustrated with them at the same time until I had children. I never imagined living on no sleep and still getting up at 7 am to be selfless. But when you think about it, they are the reason we wake up. If we are not there for them their world falls apart, that’s how important our role is. Isn’t that so honorable?
My Prayer For you
So I pray that your journey as a mother gets easier if you are in difficult times now. I pray that God continues to bless you with patience, happiness, and fulfillment. May you always smile through it all and may you always have strength through it all. Ameen
To end I wanted to share this video that has been floating around by one of my favorite mom bloggers from “Story of this life” . This video makes me teevery timerytime I see it. And as she says “The Sacrifice is great but the reward is greater” .
I pray you had a wonderful Mother’s Day yesterday and hope it’s ALWAYS as beautiful. Because hey, everyday is Mother’s Day!
* Mom’s Giveaway *
I would love to hear from you! Comment Below, what is the best & hardest thing about motherhood for you? I will pick one winner to get a special MOM mug from me 🙂